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i do feel guilty.

when i grow up i want to be...im not sure. but this is not it. go back
to school? maybe. move into a box that doenst charge rent? possbily (
how else would i be able to pay for school??!!?) work 40 hrs a week and
go to school? ( great. i dont have a social life now. if i do this will
i ever. again?)

and what do i want to be?? heck if i know. i know id like to make close
to what i make now ( i could do less if i liked my job more. which heck
thats why i think im having a 1/3 life crisis.) i want to be able to
plan for things and do them. not hope oh heck i hope i can have this
day off. or this night off. or i will know what i work. or will asked
nicely to change my schedule. i just want to like my job more i guess.

blahh! i just wish i knew what i need to do. and i would take the steps
i needed. i guess im scared.

i wrote an email to my mom telling her my frustrations in my job and
the other mgrs i work with. i wish i could be as positve as her.

GM :)
Work, is work. If it were fun, it would be called that. And I know you
are supposed to like your job? I like my job but it is still work.
There are Buffy Tesios everywhere. People are just people. We need to
stay close to the ones who encourage us and distance ourselves from
those who do not. I just try to take a positive attitude into it all.
That is the only way to be happy, from the inside out. Those two ladies
are sad cases. I think people who dis others to make them selves feel
better are very unhappy. I want to be happy. That comes from within. We
have that happiness, they do not. Anyway, you have good friends and you
have your very small family and you have Tess. What more could you ask
for? And you are fairly healthy which is very important. Just take care
of you and try to be helpful. Some people just hate it when you are
nice to them. So I try to be nice and if they are really mean, I try to
stay out of their radar. But you know all this. You are mature enough
not to waste your time on the really stupid people. I sorta want to
just live in a cave but we are supposed to make the world a better
place. You would not make it in the cave unless you had wifi :) So,
don’t worry, be happy :) And what you do in your spare time is YOUR
business. I bet if they confessed how they spend their spare time, we
could make fun of them.
Don’t you hate me :) I love you!!! It has been such beautiful weather,
I love it.


this is one of the only emails that she has sent in the last couple of
days that didnt say holler back. really she says that in emails. shes
silly.


The lyrics to Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen, by Mary Schmich:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists,
whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own
meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But
trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you
and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed
your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle
Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people
who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes
you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with
yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in
doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life.
The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted
to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I
know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when
they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe
you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't
congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices
are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of
what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever
own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should
hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle,
because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you
when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in
Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will
philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize
that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund.
Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one
might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will
look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply
it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing
the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts
and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

[first star out...] exploding dog

i cant remember when i stumbled across explodingdog.com i know it was
when i working at IT at OU but thats all i know. i visit this site
pretty often. and i love this artist.

im really liking lady gaga. only 534038 years behind everyone else. oh
whatever. i dont listen to the radio. ever.
oh. my. god. i love fonts. love them! and dafont! to bad my photoshop
cs will expire in like 12 days. i think i can just move a copy from one
of my ibooks. i hope.

why dont i sleep like a normal person. possibly because my dreams are
soo much better then my real life. waking up in painful and makes sleep
not worth it for the way i feel after an amazing dream. life hurts me
sometimes. is there something wrong with me? maybe. am i normal? not in
any way im sure.


.....

[first star out...] love this song....

and its excatlly how i have been fealing latley when i go to sleep.


When I look up from my pillow
I dream you are there with me
Though you are far away
I know you'll always be near to me

I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me
I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me

I look around me
And feel you are ever so close to me
Each tear that flows from my eye
Brings back memories of you to me

I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me
I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me

I was wrong, I will cry
I will love you till the day I die
You were all, you alone and no one else
You were meant for me

When morning comes again
I have the loneliness you left me
Each day drags by
Until finally my time descends on me

I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me
I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me
just got done watching serenity for the 750384038 times. its one of my
favorite movies for many reasons. joss whedon. scifi that isnt too over
my head. comedy. fighting. all stuff lindy loves.

well my weekend off has basically been me being super lazy. i have
played alot of katamari damacy and spent wayyyy tooo much time on
facebook. and played with miss tess. at this moment she is sitting on
my chest wondering why i love this silly light.making.noise.making box
soo much :) she doesnt like technology much. she would rather lick my
face and get her belly scratched. oh the life of a doggie. must be
nice. hah.

i changed the look of this thing. not sure if i like the
underwear.wearing.girl soo much but it will do for now. id like to make
my own header and have looked into that a lil bit. but i lost interest.
like soo many other things i plan on doing but never do. like this
fancy mac has the whole adobe creative suite and will expire in 30 days
and i have only opened some stuff up to go ohhhh fancy. then i go do
something else. i wish i had the drive i need to be more creative. i
waste my brain wayyy too much :(

back to work in the morning. i work a crappy 12 to 8 tom. and im sure i
will have to stay till 9 or 10 to get my full 40 hrs this week since my
boss is horrible at making schedules. ( scheduling us till 11 and we
always leave before 10.30. meaning i useally have 2 to 4 hrs i have to
make up somewhere. and she doesnt like us to come in early. at all.
stupid. stupid. stupid. ) and then 3 to 11 the rest of the week. and i
work mornings this weekend. soo no halloween drinking for mes :( oh
well i really cant afford it. i either need to make more money or have
to pay for less stuff. not sure how to do either. hah.

[lindyc] im dumb...

dear blog

i find all this sign in with your google crap annoying. first off i
dont have an google email. or any of the lil things you want me to sign
on with. i have a blogger. yet everyone seems to use this thing to
follow people.

i confused.

and not that anyone reads this silly stuff anyways. but i do read other
peoples. but following these said people would be alot easier then
having 573048308408 blogger bookmarks everywhere.

please help a girl out.

love

i.spend.alot.of.time.on.the.interweb.but.apparently.still.get.confused.by.simple.to.other.people.things.girl.
or lindy for short.


ps if you are friends with the new facebook live feed thing i get why
you are confusing. and i may never figure out :( and i dont like either
of you verrry much!!!! :p

[lindyc] im in love....

dear vaseline sheer infusion lotion. i am sooo in love with you i might
never use another lotion again. how do you do it? you make my hands
feel soft ( even tho i wash them 573048308480 times a day at work) and
you stay on after i wash my hands. amazing. if you had a lil head i
would kiss the top of it. but you dont since you are just a bottle of
lotion. but dont feel bad about that cuz you are the most amazing
lotion i know. love lindy.c.

[lindyc] trying to blog....

slept less then 4 hours tuesday nite.

went to be around 3am last night.

woke up around 8.45 this morning.

laid in bed and tried to fall asleep while i petted tess till 9.20.
finally got out of bed. and now here i am. wanting oatmeal and some oj.
and i have neither of those things. soo im settling for icewater and
air? hah. i do have some mt.dew that i can drink. but since i drank
enough caffeine yesterday to power a small ocean liner for more then a
day i think i will lay off the OTC.crack for today.

im soon making my weekly/bi.weekly trek to minco to wash clothes and
marvel at how much my nephew has grown in since i last saw him. im also
going to be getting my "new" mac from my mom. hopefully is not
prehistoric and runs okay. and if it has a dvd player ( if it doesnt im
going to keep the pc she found me) i will be able to run 10.5 and since
both my ibooks are running
10.not.high.enough.to.even.download.new.itunes.songs.cuz.gahhh.your.os.is.old.
this will be an AWESOME upgrade. :)

reese called me randomly last nite and stopped by to give me the cutest
planner ever that she found for me at barnes and noble. and we then
went to target. i love her so much she can stand me when im crashing
off of my caffeine high and tweeking on my mucinex d high. hah. i will
miss our little random outtings if i move to minco. but i know i will
be in norman alot. i love it here. i just want to be closer to my
family.

well off to clean dirty socks and moving small electronics i go!

<3

[lindyc] 10/12/2009 11:14:00 PM

check check... 1..2..1.2.3. 53o43080843!

[lindyc] ..0

ummm working now????